We all have bad days. It’s okay. But, it is essential to keep in mind that we all choose how much we allow our circumstances, at any given time, to influence our energy—positive or negative.
It’s okay to be human. We all make mistakes We all repeat the same slip-ups until we decide to choose another option—which often requires a paradigm shift. Changing one’s frame of mind is never easy. Change is hard!
Know what else is tough? Learning to walk and talk, but we did it—because we kept trying to learn. We were intentional about acquiring that skill because at that time, it was important to us.
At some point in adulthood, people get stuck in a cloud of shifting priorities. Work. School. Family. Church. Social engagements. We all—at one time or another—feel drained! The question is, what are we going to do about it?
For a change to happen, one must intentionally create new habits. These behaviors are meant to replace the old ways that were not contributing to our success. These new habits should be designed to impact areas in our lives that we need strengthened. Nothing changes, when nothing changes.
Marty was just like you—busy, overworked, stressed. She’s a single-parent who works very hard to provide for her two boys.
One day, Marty decided that she was going to do something about her energy. She had been reading a book by Brendon Burchard, High Performing Habits, that inspired her to generate more positive energy by intentionally adopting simple habits that would allow her to do so.
On a Tuesday morning, Marty set 2 random alarms—one at 10:17 am , another at 2:29 pm—that prompted her to stop what she was doing and take 10 deep breaths. She was intrigued by how effortless and odd, yet apparently obvious this exercise seemed, because Marty had known for quite some time that she wasn’t taking breaks throughout her day to just breathe—and as a nurse she knew how vital breathing is to one’s well-being.
Her first alarm goes off. She gets up from the nurse’s station, walks outside, and starts to count 10 deep breaths. Once she has started breathing she is supposed to ask herself, “what kind of energy do I want and need right now?” She thinks about her to-do list, the patients she is caring for, and then she feels gratitude.
“I am grateful that I have all of these things to do and that I am entrusted with these people to care for. I choose to BRING THE JOY!”
This heartwarming moment was a gamechanger for Marty. A few hours later, when her next alarm went off, she once again walked outside to get a breath of fresh air. She started to breathe and as she did she felt the tension release from off of her shoulders. She was in the moment. She had already “brought the joy once.” She thought about what kind of energy she needed at that moment, then, like magic, she had laser-like focus as she intentionally dialed into her mind to generate the energy she wanted. She caught up her charting and made her rounds again—with the intention of bringing more joy!
Six months later, Marty still has her 2 alarms that go off, and she has found that she takes more time to be present, in the present. She is able to stay focused at work. She’s incorporated a 3rd alarm. This one goes off on her drive home. She breathes, releases the tension, and asks herself what kind of energy her family needs. These triggers, changed her behavior in a way that impacted her state of mind, her work, & family relationships. Marty took control of her energy production.
Another key aspect of generating energy is taking control of our health—optimize it. If it has been over a year since the last physical exam, we really should get one soon. We all have to start somewhere, and this is a good place. Finding out where to improve our health and our body, and then intentionally improving those areas will bless us with health, strength, and vitality.
Exercise plays a HUGE role in one’s ability to generate energy. A good place to start is in the morning. Wake up 10-15 minutes earlier, stretch, and do 5 push-ups. Do this Monday through Friday for a month. Get excited about waking up earlier to do this—after all, by doing this, you are changing the world (your world). Increase your exercise to, eventually, consistently exercising for at least 30 minutes a morning, 4-5x a week.
Robin Sharma said, “Good health is a crown on the head of a well person that only a sick person can see.”
As we choose to do simple, different things like setting random alarms to breathe, breathing to intentionally set the tone, and optimizing our health, our bodies will reap from the choices we have sown. We will grow in health, mental clarity, and our ability to generate energy will have increased by leaps and bounds.
There are no shortcuts. Choices can and should be tough. Growth is never easy. Change is always possible. Change comes when we choose between comfort and wisdom—and choose to grow. It comes when we ask ourselves, “What is TRULY best for me right now?” Then acting upon that answer.
Do you want the secret to life? Act. Do. Become.
Act on your choices, choose your reactions, and intentionally generate the energy and the feelings that are most important to you and will help you become the best version of yourself.
If you struggle with learning new habits, if you need help from a mentor to coach you as you strive to become all that you have the potential to become, or if you are ready to take it to the next level—career, relationship, personal life—then I can help you.
What is intrapersonal communication?
Intrapersonal communication is the process of talking to oneself, which is related to your constant internal dialogues, either consciously or subconsciously. Our intrapersonal communication helps to determine our self-image and self-awareness, which is the most basic level of communication, and helps us to understand who we are and what we think of ourselves.
Why is it important?
We can easily determine our self-esteem and self-perception through our internal communications, or intrapersonal communications. Obviously, in order to have a successful interpersonal relationship–communicating with others–we must first learn how to communicate with ourselves, understand who we are, and what we think of ourselves, and eventually, it will lead us to have a greater success in life. But how?
Follow these 4 steps to Improve your Intrapersonal Communication
Your internal conversations have a huge impact on you and your personal well-being. Try to listen to your self-talk and be aware of your internal dialogue and whether it is positive or negative. Remember that negative self-talk can drain your energy or motivation while your positive dialogues can empower you with higher self-esteem and eventually improve your self-perception, which is going to help you to have a better feeling about yourself.
Have you ever tried to monitor your thought on your ongoing basis? In general, it is easier to let our thoughts run randomly through our mind, but if we try to recognize our negative thoughts and immediately replace them with positive ones, we will be amazed by the result on our day-to-day life activities and relational communications.
Try to eliminate your unwanted thoughts from intruding by saying or thinking about some words like “STOP” or “ENOUGH”, “CLEAR”, QUIT”. You can also improve your positive self-talk through prayer, meditation, affirmations, and focusing on your enjoyable moments.
Try to recognize the differences that your positive self-talk makes in your day-to-day life activities or communications. Pay attention to those changes like feeling calmer and more peaceful, which are going to help you connect with what is peaceful and good around you and you’ll become less concerned with trivial matters. After a while, you will achieve a more positive outlook on life and have more confidence in your abilities.
To know where you are going, first you need to know who you are. Then, you need to have a reason to reach your destination. Why do you want to make it there? Why is it important to you?
Dr. Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, says that you must begin with the end in mind. Focus with me as his words guide your thoughts:
“In your mind’s eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car, and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known that radiates from the hearts of the people there.
‘As you walk down in front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life.
‘As you take a seat and wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate and extended- children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. The fourth is from your church or some community organization where you’ve been involved in service.
‘Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life?What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son, or daughter, or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate?
‘What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you have liked to have made in their lives?”
Think about those answers. Take a minute to truly reflect. I would even suggest writing your answers down on a piece of paper.
Who you would have them remember you as or what you would have them remember you for is your personal definition of success!
Using this exercise, I’ve defined my own roles in my life and this perspective has helped me to create a personal mission statement. You must know who you are and what you need to do to become the best version of yourself. Doing this will be your driving force to get to your ultimate destination. This is called seeking clarity.
There is great power in beginning with the end in mind. As I strive to become the man I envision myself becoming, I have a deeper satisfaction in life. I have a stronger conviction to accomplish my goals. I have a purpose. I also have a reason to challenge myself by setting goals to develop into the best version of myself.
To truly know where you are going, to have a clear vision of where you are headed; you must first have a clear picture of who you are.
As your life coach, I can help you develop your vision, help you set goals to achieve your vision, and inspire you to grow into the person it will take to make your vision a reality! Contact me today for a free consultation.